Me and my overlapping cultures

The section on culture identities are overlapping was very easy for me to relate to. Since I am from Puerto Rico, I was born and raised with the Puerto Rican Culture. We are all very close to our extended families and rather than spending new years with close friends, my family and I spend the whole New Years week with my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. Another part of my culture and I know this is for a lot of cultures outside of the United States is we don’t wait until 21 to go out and have some drinks. When I came here, things were different. I found myself to wanting to live in my culture even though I was here in a different culture. When I came here I was 18, I was no longer able to go out and get a drink. It is such a big deal here and that was something I was completely not used to. My girlfriend is from here, where she and all of her friends spend new years’ together, rather with their families. Not only was I in a foreign place for me and speaking a second language, I was also in a new culture with different traits, beliefs, and traditions. I found both my culture and this new one to be overlapping.

 It was definitely hard at first, I found all of these boundaries I had never experienced before, traditions I had never heard of, and phrases I just did not understand. I have been here for 3 years now and I have adapted to the culture here. When I go home I am happy to be in that culture again and everything I was born and raised in, but I have found a nice balance to dealing with the two cultures I now live in.

My culture, your culture, everyone's culture

I would say I half believe in Ruth Benedict when he says, “we are creatures of our culture, and that our habits, beliefs, and impossibilities are shaped by our culture”.

 I believe at one point in our lives we were shaped by our culture. Our habits and beliefs are similar to everyone else’s. I think for most of us this describes as when we were all little. We did not have minds of our own. We followed the examples of other, did what our parents told us to do, and our beliefs were the same as our parents. It is not until we get older where we find our own voice and become our own person where we are no longer controlled by our culture. As we get older we find a respect for where we came from and where our beliefs and habits originated, but it does not hold us back from changing into a different person. I was born and raised in Puerto Rico, the culture back there is very different. When I came here I knew things would be different so I came here with an opened mind. I am old enough to know where I came from and the person I am today is shaped by my culture back home and the culture out here. I am not the same person as I was when I left home 3 years ago. If I would have let my Puerto Rico culture shape who I am out here, I would not be doing a lot of things I am. I love my culture, but I can respect others as well. I feel we are not raised and shaped by one culture, I feel we are shaped by our culture around us as kids and new ones we find along the way as we grow into adults.  

The language of men and women

I do believe mean and women use language differently. Not only do the words themselves differ, but also the way men and women perceive the tone in which it was said. I feel women tend to use the tone to create their mood. Women can take something a man said and change the meaning because of the tone. For example, she may ask him what he wants to do for dinner? he will reply whatever you want. Well if he does not say it in the right tone she may perceive it as he doesn’t care, whatever she wants to cook, and he is not willing to help. I feel women tend to rely on the tone of the voice more than what the man is actually saying. In another blog I read someone say women tend to sugarcoat things. Rather than get to the point they dance around it to make it easier. Men tend to get straight to the point. This is another way in which men and women use language differently. To me, language it not just  the words, but how the words are delivered.

Characteristics of nonverbal behavior

In chapter 5 the section I found interesting and relatable was the section on the characteristics of nonverbal communication. I found the part about nonverbal communication being immediate, continuous, and natural to be very relatable to many interactions I have seen. “We can weigh our words, carefully compose our verbal messages, and wait for the right time and place before we speak. But we can’t delay most nonverbal messages” (105). This quote from the book reminds of someone going to a dinner party and eating a meal which the cook worked so hard. Unfortunately it was not to this persons likings. The first bite they have, they cannot control their facial expression and shows an emotion of disgust. No one sees this but the date. When the hostess asks how the food is, she has had time to think about her response and replies it was great. This nonverbal message of a face of disgust was what she really thought; it came to her so natural and immediately after the first bite of the meal.

This example is only one of many which can be related to nonverbal communication being immediate, continuous, and natural. This section really struck me to a great example of what a nonverbal message really is. It is such a natural thing and comes out in the worst of times. This usually happens when someone wants an opinion on an important matter. We can easily stop speaking or take time to give an appropriate response, but a first site of an ugly pair of shoes, or horrible hair cut will bring out the natural response of a nonverbal message.

A judgment call

I think it is hard but possible to perceive others without judging or categorizing them. I believe it all depends on  the situation a person is in. For example if you are with a group of friends and another person shows up with a mutual friend, you are going to keep an open mind and not think anything about it. You will talk to them and get to know them. There is no pressure to become very close with this person therefore there is no reason to really judge them. If you are going on a blind date then the judging starts from the first encounter. The smell, the way he/she is dressing, where they suggest to have dinner or anything. This is a person you are hoping to have some sort of relationship with. Judging would be hard not to do. If someone is an environment outside of their comfort zone, they are going to be analyzing and really be categorizing the scene.

Judging and categorizing will always find a place, I do think people are able to go in with an open mind and not let their first impression get in the way, or not even make a first impression at all without have a conversation first.

The good and the bad speakers

In all honesty, I cannot say I have seen very many speakers. I never find myself in the position where I am sitting down and listening to someone talk. I have seen it on movies many times, but to actually experience it in person, not so much. However, I took a public speaking class so I will be talking about those speeches. After all, in class you get a broad range of public speaking abilities. As this class was a year ago, I do not remember the speeches in detail, but I do remember the way they were presented and  how I reacted to certain speeches. One of the better ones I recall was by this girl, and she started off so nervous and we could all tell. Her speech was real emotional so during the middle she broke down and started crying, I looked around and the whole class had tears streaming down their cheeks. I found this to be very real. I liked how her speech was not practiced and rehearsed so much where she would not find the emotion. I liked how she connected to what she was saying and made all of us feel the way she felt. I really enjoyed how she acted like a person and not a robot up their speaking because she had to. This girl showed her vulnerable side and I know we as a class will always remember that speech because it touched all of us. J

There were also some not so great speakers in the class. They let their nerves get the best of them. They were not prepared, they did not try to connect with us on a personal level. They stood perfectly still with some slight swaying back and forth. These kind of speakers just make it painful to listen to. I was not able to connect to what they were saying because they did not even know what they were saying. It was like listening to words being thrown at us with not reason behind it. Those types of speeches make it really hard to listen to and get anything from. L

About Myself

Hello,
My Name is Fabian Torres Camacho. I am from Puerto Rico but have been living here and  going to school for the past 3 years! I was attending west valley community college while playing water polo there. I will be transferring to UOP in the fall with my major being Communications. I needed to take a university class so i could transfer so i used the open summer session at San Jose State University to my advantage to fulfill that requirement. I chose the background for my blog to be planes because this represents the fact that i do travel a lot. I have been to many countries playing water polo. My communication experience as been a public speaking class at West Valley and now this class. Here is to a good summer session everyone!! :)